normalcy

two months ago, rising up from the floor seemed impossible. a dog’s paws, literally on her arm, holding. consoling. there was the shaking. the uncontrollable sobbing. and then the shriveling. the weakness. the darkness. the hunger. but now lying in bed, naked, a glimmer of light peeks through the blinds, accentuating the curves of her […]

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good

it was quite a day of ups and downs. and not just in yoga. heard from someone I’ve been missing so, so much and it both helped and hurt … but it was needed. much needed. dare I say it was even good. difficult, yes. but good. there was therapy right after (thank goodness) and […]

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process

please don’t tell me how to grieve. stop saying that I overshare. stop telling me that I’m humiliating myself by talking about all of the good memories. and please stop telling me I need to be angry and move on. stop telling me things that make the tiniest pieces of my heart that haven’t yet […]

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lighten up

sometimes when we mess up, or something happens to us, we find it hard, impossible even, to stop ourselves from carrying that with us throughout the rest of our days. we know we’re doing it, and yet we can’t stop it. sometimes that load is too much. sometimes we need help. and too often we […]

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truth is …

an open letter to the man I loved, still love and will always love. Dear you: truth is things are going great. truth is things are a fucking mess. this is where things stand here. here’s the deal: you showed up and changed everything. you left and changed everything. it’s life. we deal. we always […]

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grief

we grieve the loss of the person we met and fell in love with. we won’t miss the one who abandoned us.  

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#metoo

I was 6 the first time I saw a penis other than my father’s. My grandmother’s neighbor had a son, Bobby, about my age. He pulled the line on me, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” I didn’t even know what he meant until he pulled my shirt up and then pulled […]

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let them fly

she held the memories close to her heart. memories are, after all, what keeps us moving. they keep us loving and learning and wanting more. what else do we have but memories? they are our stories. they weave us into who we are now and who we’ll become tomorrow. she knew change was imminent. it […]

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that time I hated Paris

I had walked around the streets of Paris for what felt like at least 30 miles before I gave in and bought a ticket for a red double-decker “hop on-hop off” bus. it was a bold move for someone who admittedly would rather slit her wrists and bleed out slowly than to take in a […]

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be there

it wasn’t that she tried, really. it was more that she didn’t try. and it was still so good. but no matter what anyone does, there are no guarantees in love or life. her wish was that he’d still be there for her, no matter what. even when far away, she still needed him. and […]

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